Powerless
by Thousandsmiles
Summary: Theo had always wanted power. What he wanted it for though, well, that was one of those things he always thought about but never really thought about at the same time.


**I hope you all enjoy this one. Theo was hard to write so he might come out a bit OOC. I'm sorry if that's the case. Still enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf.**

* * *

Theo had always wanted power. The Dread Doctors had offered him the power of a chimera and he had taken it because his parents had always loved his sister best and although they'd told him they loved him, he'd known they'd hadn't. Not the way they loved his sister. There was something too strange about him.

Theo, their young son, was too sly, too quick to get other children in trouble and took too much joy in it. They were afraid for him,m they pitied him, they were afraid of him, thought he was other. So he got power to show them that he didn't need their love, he could take care of themselves and if it got rid of his sister, the symbol of everything that he would never get, everything good to his bad, that was a bonus.

* * *

But walking the world as a chimera wasn't easy. There were other things out there with fangs and claws, other things that could heal and give him wounds that wouldn't heal so easily. The dread doctors were cold companions and they did not care much for Theo, save that he was a success of sorts. He was a lone wolf and those never did very well, he learned. There was strength in numbers.

So he set off looking for a pack, but not just any pack. He needed a powerful pack because the stronger the pack the less chance they would have of being beaten. Power meant safety.

Then the Doctors turned to Beacon Hills and he heard of Scott McCall's pack. True alpha, killer coyote, the beta who was a ticking time bomb, the banshee, harbinger of death, the dark kitsune and human that was more scary than all of them, void stiles. That was power. Those were numbers to have. If he had them at his back, he'd be undefeatable. Untouchable. No one could harm them.

But true alphas would never touch Theo with a ten foot pole, never mind hand the pack over to him. There was no doubt in his mind that Scott would look at him the way his parents had, the way his sister used to. He needed the alpha gone and he needed the he set off to tear Scott from his pack. If it helped the Doctors and set in motion a backup plan, well, Theo had learned to be careful.

Having his own pack of chimeras was...good. They weren't the power Scott's pack was but they aren't too bad. And it was...nice, having people who trusted him, people who liked him. It was nice being in charge for once and it was strangely satisfying to take care of other people. It was better being in a position of power that allowed him to take care of people. He didn't care about his pack but they were useful and allowed him a chance to feel powerful.

But pack members can leave. He'd torn Scott's pack apart. The power, the safety in a pack was a fleeting thing. Theo realised that he'd have to gain more power for himself. He'd thought a pack would provide the power he needed but packs have to be tended carefully, there were too independent minded, too powerful on their own to be ruled entirely and he wasn't an alpha to control them.

Time to revert to plan A: steal the beast's power. With that there was nothing he couldn't do, no one he couldn't kill. No one would dare challenge him.

He didn't like the plan. True the payoff was incredible, everything he'd ever wanted but if it failed, and though he didn't think it would he always, always had to be prepared, he would have the secondary power of the pack to fall back on. It was agonizing, but go big or go home right? Plan A it is.

* * *

Only it didn't happen.

He didn't get the beast's power. He got a nightmare instead.

Being dragged into the floor was the most frightening thing to happen because he knew, knew he would never get back, knew he'd never get away from his dead sister.

Being helpless to escape to stop his own death drove him wild and killed him in another way. He was powerless. There was nothing he could do to stop this, to save himself. He would never escape, never be free, never be safe again.

He tried at first because he was Theo and he'd never given up in his life. He'd faced pain before, he could do it again. He could face death, face dying over and over again.

(Even if dying was the thing he'd fought against the hardest all his life. He'd done all this to survive, to ensure he would survive. That's what power meant didn't it? Survival. Safety. To carve out a space for him, Theo Raeken, where he wouldn't feel the judging eyes, weighing on him, telling him, telling him that he'd never be enough, that he never was.)

But death kept coming for him over and over again until he realised that it would never stop. That he couldn't stop it, no matter what he did. This cycle was going to continue for a very, very long time…

Getting your heart torn out of your chest isn't easy. It took him too long for him to realise that it must have been terrifying for his sister.

It took him too long to realise that it would have been worse for her, dying slowly. His deaths were always quick.

It took him too long to realize that she'd felt like him when he'd been dragged down, when she'd been dying in that water. Begging to be saved, helpless, afraid and acutely alone, no matter how many people were there.

Her pain was his punishment. There would be no safety for her again and now there'd be none for him.

"It's okay," he told her. "You don't have to stop."

She'd have her peace and he'd have his terror...and hers.

* * *

Being torn out of the ground left him feeling tearfully relieved, extremely angry and so terrified he could barely keep his thoughts straight. Luckily survival was his default. He'd hadn't been dragged out from limbo to be free, he'd been dragged out to be used, a tool, to save people.

Theo wanted to laugh. How did Scott and his pack get themselves into this? He wanted to cry in relief because if they weren't who they were, he'd have never gotten out. So he helped. He did everything and anything to never go back to the ground because even though he understood her pain, understood the pain of a lot of others whose blood stained his hands, he didn't want to feel it. He feared to. He feared being torn apart by the heart he was all to aware of now.

(Sometimes his own heartbeat gives him nightmares.)

(Theo tries not to think of it, especially the nightmares that come when he's not sleeping.)

But he is aware of his heart now, is aware that it's not his and she'd want..better, that she deserved better. He was Theo but he was also her, no matter how much he'd love to deny it.

Watching Scott's pack, watching them rebuilt now, like they've never been torn apart, like they're never going to be torn apart, is eye-opening. They're stronger. He didn't think it was possible but they are.

Scott's solid in a way Theo can't move, even if he tried; he's also hopefully, optimistic and so good, Theo wants to go douse himself in chocolate or run naked across the lacrosse field just to get some of that goody-goodness off his skin. But something inside him warms at it anyway. Scott's the lodestone to his terrible moral compass. The pack's like a fire he can't stop warming his hands at. He craves the power, craves the safety that they have with and because of each other.

* * *

He walks into the hospital with Liam and fights not to shake in the face of the flashbacks. Liam's an idiot, he doesn't know what he's talking about, doesn't know what it's like, when he says he'll send him back to the ground. Theo knows he wouldn't even subject the Dread Doctors to the skinwalker's limbo./

(And that one is a surprise to him.)

But the doctors are dead and Wild Hunt is here and damn it, he isn't alive now to be erased from existence. Survival is his default.

Until it isn't. Until he realises in the middle of the fight that sacrifice, willingness to die for each other is what holds the pack together, what ties them so tightly together, they can't ever truly be torn apart. If everyone is willing to do anything it takes to ensure the other survives, well then, the chances of the entire pack surviving dramatically increases.

His heart thumps painfully in his chest.

He's not part of the pack but he can keep Scott's pack together a little longer, he can keep his brother-in-arms out of harm's way for a little longer, give them all more time.

"What are you doing?!"

"Being the bait!"

Then the elevator doors are closed and he's rushing the ghost riders. The Wild Hunt huh? Well he's always been a little wild and if they want him dead they're definitely going to have to hunt him. Theo isn't going to roll belly-up for anyone.

He said it before and he'll say it again: Liam's an idiot. Oh hell, he's an idiot too because he just helped said idiot to do an idiotic thing.

When did he transition from the the person who planned each step ahead in ten different ways and figured out risk-benefit ratio from surviving the Dead Doctors to this?

It's official. Beacon Hills is bad for his health. He's definitely getting out of here when there's a here left to get out of.

* * *

Liam and Scott are both idiots but damn it, they have to be one of the strongest packs he's ever run across. Mr. Douglas for all that he is a power himself, does not recognize it.

"He has a pack!" he says and it's both a warning and a declaration.

The true alpha's power is humming through the air and Theo can almost taste the difference in Scott's power to Mr. Douglas'. Mr. Douglas still doesn't recognize it, still can't understand that Scott is literally not going to be stopped because he doesn't intend to be. True alphas are known for their sheer force of will and Scott is demonstrating it with full force. The battle won't end until he's won. And because they are the pack of a true alpha, because they've earned their place in it, Scott's pack is just like him. They're unstoppable.

It's an earth shaking thing to realise and for a moment he wants to thrust his hands into the flames even if he'll be burnt, just to be a part of it for a second.

Then the battle's over, they've won and Theo is left, alive but not welcome. At least he doesn't think so. He doesn't stick around to find out anyway. His sister's heart may thump in his chest but he's still Theo Raeken, and he's still powerless.

(Still packless.)

(Still searching for safety.)

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 _ **Review please! I love feedback! (Who doesn't?)**_

 _ **Have a nice day/night!**_


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